Ahh, confidence – that slightly elusive and ambiguous concept. What is it? How does one attain and keep it? To answer those questions there are lists, lists and lists all over the internet explaining how to develop and/or increase it. With all that info readily available, I don’t want to spend too much time rehashing it. Why reinvent the wheel? Instead, I’ll spend a little time on describing what it is at the core, and share an easy process on how to enhance your own level of confidence.

Confidence is the manifestation of an internal belief of capability.

According to The Slight Edge, life is basically a balance scale; on one side is Success and on the other is Failure. Each and every day we are offered the opportunity to choose, in many different areas, and those choices go on either side of the scale. Success choices are the ones that are in support of our core truths, our chosen values and goals. The more often you consciously choose those success actions, your self-trust is going to grow. Self-trust is key to high confidence, basically you’re showing yourself that you can be trusted to make good decisions in any situation. You develop a strong internal belief that you’re capable of handling unknowns because you know which choices are in your best interest. On the other hand, the more often that you choose actions that don’t serve you, i.e. Failure choices, you will be actively undermining yourself and your confidence. You’ll begin to not trust yourself.


The following is a very quick way to figure out what confidence means to you personally. Most people already have an idea or image of what it means, or looks like, to be confident – lets tap into that. First off, visualize yourself at your most confident. Go ahead, close your eyes, and see yourself.

What do you see? Create a list of attributes that make up your vision of “confidence”.

For example, your attributes of confidence might include:

  • Grounded
  • Eye-contact
  • Good posture
  • In shape
  • Dresses well
  • Chooses what’s good for him/herself
  • Doesn’t need to ask permission from others
  • Positive
  • Curious
  • Present


Create action steps.

1. Begin by folding a piece of paper in half and label the two columns Be and Do.

2. In the ‘Be’ column, list the attributes of confidence that you envisioned. In the ‘Do’ column create the action step: how are you going to ‘Do’ that attribute?

3. Pick one or two attributes to work on at a time, until they become habits.

There you have it. A quick and easy process to figuring out what confidence means to you, and what action steps you can take to achieve it. If you think this sounds too-hokey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. The act of writing, of physically putting what’s in your head onto a piece of paper and then examining it, can lead to a lot of clarity. We operate in so much noise, you’d be surprised how a simple exercise like this can really cut through.

So . . . you’re confident now, right?

Well, there you go. You have everything you need to be confident, including pages and pages of Google search listings, and this very easy process. So, are you confident? No? Why not? “Well, Amber, I did the visualization, I made my lists, and I spent a lot of time thinking about confidence, but…”

What it really boils down to is this: building confidence and sustaining confidence



In the end, it actually doesn’t matter what the specific action is. If one of your confidence attributes was to be in shape, your “Do” could be anything, that’s up to you – maybe it’s get up 15 minutes earlier and do some push ups, or add 30 minutes of cardio in daily – it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you CHOOSE it. You consciously choose to better yourself everyday, and through those constant “success” choices, your confidence, or internal belief of capability, will grow and be sustained.


Performance coaching is a great way to define values and goals, add clarity to success choices, and build confidence. Contact us for more information!